Ever since the new Defeatocrat party took control of our Congress less than two months ago, the snarling anklebiters who make up its support base have allowed their irrational hatred for the Bush administration to propel them to new heights of lunacy, and it doesn't look as if they're going to be piloting the starship moonbat toward planet reality anytime soon.
Of course, there has never been a time when the word rational could have been used to accurately describe this particular generation of leftists, however, with each passing day it's becoming more and more difficult to refer to them as anything but a gaggle of frothing nutjobs.
If the truth be known, I'd rather be locked in a room with a few dozen hysterical 5-year-olds for a week than spend half an minute listening to the sort of mindless gibberish that routinely flows from the mouth of Cindy Sheehan. Unfortunately, the Jurassic media feels the need to report every idiotic phrase uttered by that brainsick rube, while virtually ignoring the opinions of the most honorable people in America; the men and women of our armed services.
By the way, if you're waiting for the Republican leadership to step up to the plate and finally confront the various neo-communists in our government, the press, and Hollywood, you'd better pull up a chair and get comfortable, because that's not going to happen in the foreseeable future.
It's become painfully obvious to anyone willing to look that the folks who currently run the GOP are as useless at defending the conservative principles of their voter base as liberals are at defending the U.S. against Islamo-fascists.
Political correctness has wormed its way through the Republican party's hierarchy to such an extent that the President himself refuses to call the people who creep across our borders in the dead of night illegal aliens. If he can't even do that, what's the likelihood he'll be referring to John Kerry and Dick Durbin as seditious bastards before his second term comes to a close?
When George Dubya talked about a "new tone" in Washington back in '04, I never expected that what he really meant was he intended to let every screeching, hate-filled liberal in the country attack him and our troops relentlessly, while he sat around perfecting his Rodney King impersonation.
Can't we all just *sniff* get along?
No, clearly we cannot all get along, you freakin' bumpkin, now wake up and smell the treason!
I swear, I would give my right arm if I could turn on my television tomorrow and hear the President proclaim that he's all done playing Mr. nice guy with America's enemies at home, and that from here on out he will be as dedicated to eradicating the threat of domestic socialism in the future as he's been to wiping out international terrorism in the past.
While I know it's a long shot, I still can't help but wonder what our country would be like if the Republican party elite started behaving like real Americans for a change.
And just in case you're wondering what I mean by REAL Americans, I've prepared the following list of their shared traits which should give you a fairly good idea of the sort of folks I'm referring to.
A) Real Americans understand that socialism is a dangerously stupid concept which is diametrically opposed to the idea of individual rights and responsibilities.
B) Real Americans love their country more than they hate any particular politician.
C) Real Americans know the difference between legal immigrants and illegal aliens, and they strongly disapprove of the latter.
D) Real Americans realize that total equality among all people is a practical impossibility, but that at least equality under the law affords everyone the opportunity to achieve happiness and success.
E) Real Americans understand that the Constitution of the United States (1) is not a "living, breathing" document, but, rather, a legal contract between them and their government.
F) Real Americans practice what they preach.
G) Real Americans are willing to help any person who is down on his luck, just as long as that individual is trying to better himself, and doesn't blame other people for his own failures.
H) Real Americans recognize the fact that blaming guns for violent crime is about as logical as blaming pencils for poor penmanship.
I) Real Americans understand that the main problems with public schools are a lack of discipline among the students, dwindling parental involvement, over-regulation by the government, incompetence and corruption within teachers unions, and rampant political correctness throughout the entire education system.
J) Real Americans would never think of suing a restaurant for making them fat.
K) Real Americans know that taking money from the rich and giving it to the poor only makes the rich poorer, the poor lazier, and the middle class nervous.
L) Real Americans recognize the fact that the Geneva Conventions (2) don't apply to terrorists and other non-uniformed enemy combatants.
M) Real Americans believe that the only fair way to judge a person is by his deeds, not his skin color, which is why they consider affirmative action programs to be inherently racist and indecent.
N) Real Americans don't give a crap if the rest of the world likes them or not.
O) Real Americans know that tax increases always damage the economy, because the economy is fueled by monetary transactions between citizens, and when those citizens have less money, the economy cannot grow.
P) Real Americans are too busy working for a living to organize mass protests against the people they find objectionable.
Q) Real Americans do not embrace moral relativism.
R) Real Americans believe that human-caused global warming (3) is a politically motivated sham being perpetrated by anti-capitalist forces throughout the world.
S) Real Americans have noticed that government bureaucracies are far less competent and productive than private businesses, primarily because the latter must compete with other private interests, and competition is the anvil upon which excellence is forged.
T) Real Americans understand that Islamo-fascism is the greatest threat to world peace and prosperity, and that George W. Bush, for all his flaws, isn't.
U) Real Americans are never willing to surrender, because the cost of losing a war is always higher than the cost of winning one.
V) Real Americans know that their country would not exist if it weren't for the efforts of its military men and women, and that citizens who degrade those individuals, or seek to undermine their efforts, are traitors.
W) Real Americans have common sense.
X) Real Americans don't care what homosexuals do in the privacy of their own homes, but they do resent being told they're bigots if they happen to be repulsed by public displays of homosexuality.
Y) Real Americans understand that their rights come from their Creator and not the government.
Z) Real Americans are patriotic individuals who love their country, not because it happens to be the land in which they live, but because the United States is the greatest nation in the history of the world, and, moreover, the last best hope of all mankind.
Edward Daley was born to American parents on a U.S. military base in Stephenville, Newfoundland, Canada, and moved to the United States as an infant. He became active in politics in 1984, the first year he was old enough to vote for the President of the United States. He is currently a political op-ed columnist for upwards of 38 on-line conservative journals and magazines, and a landlord of rental property. Edward has been a salesman, bar doorman, typesetter, and security guard. He is a college graduate with a number of hobbies and interests, including reading, writing poetry and short stories, web designing, watching professional football, and drinking 12-year-old single malt scotch.