Coming to a community near you: Planet X and The Curse of Mohammed!
The situation on Earth is becoming increasingly bizarre to the point it resembles the plot for a fifth-rate science fiction movie, Planet X and The Curse of Mohammed!
The situation on Earth is bizarre and would make for a fifth-rate science fiction movie, Planet X and The Curse of Mohammed!
Posters might show a beautiful young woman fleeing before the outstretched hands of a horde gone wild with the curse. In the background, a knot of hooded figures raise their fists, minarets form the skyline and a column of smoke rises in the distance.
Of the few who would bother to see the film, most would walk out before the halfway mark, hollering to see the manager and requesting, nay, demanding, a refund!
The bare bones of this “B” movie’s absurd plot:
Centuries before the nightmare develops on Planet X, a nutcase begins spouting a lot of incoherent bile that nobody but his family members take seriously, until, that is, he arms his family up to the eyeballs and begins lopping off the heads of those who refuse to accept him as Planet X's most perfect being.
The film gets increasingly ridiculous as audiences are expected to sit through an hour and a half of slaughter, sex, and savagery with no end in sight.
From the unpalatable, the film descends into the unfeasible as viewers are expected to believe that those territories on Planet X that have remained free of the savagery and developed a sublime civilisation with stunning achievements in science and the most beautiful literature, painting and music, open wide the doors of their cities to the savages! (Audiences become vocal at this point, "Rubbish! Give us our money back!)
But it gets even worse as leaders of the civilised world provide the savages with homes and financial support while apologising to the savages because they, the civilised people, are making the savages feel uncomfortable about their Perfect Being. The civilised people promise the savages that they'll try their hardest to make them feel happier, but they need more time. It must be admitted that, from this point, the issue of time running out gives the film a certain suspense.
In response to the offer, the savages remain sulky and venomous. The more they are given, the more contemptuous they become, because their Perfect Being taught them to see kindness and generosity as weakness. The savages despise the civilised weaklings.
The civilised people respond by allowing, nay encouraging the savages to take up seats of power in their society, to become mayors of capital cities, members of ruling councils, and heads of States — all positions of power and trust, including top advisors to their own civilised leaders on how best to keep the savages happy. Even the facts of Planet X's history are rewritten to suit the savages. (Bear in mind, this is just a “B” movie).
Time moves relentlessly forward and the film ends with the savages spreading like a stain across the planet, slaughtering the civilised world, bit by bit, town by town, nation by nation. Art, science, literature, the product of millennia, going up in flames...
The film, as preposterous as it is, does leave the viewer with some hope, because it has an open end.
Viewers are left wondering whether the madness on Planet X will continue until the entire planet is engulfed in blind savagery or will the civilised people wake up, accept the fact that the savages despise them, and begin killing those who are killing them and their children, expelling those who refuse to stop worshipping the Perfect Savage, and only permitting those to remain who renounce their barbarism in favour of civilisation.
What's that? You say you think you've seen this film?
Then take heart. As you read this, I understand a new production company is working on a sequel.
Let's hope it's an improvement on this tragi-comedy.