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"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." - John 8:32
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Author:  Jim Wrenn
Bio: Jim Wrenn
Date:  February 19, 2012
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GM in the Year Twenty-Twelve Proclaims What Its Lobbying Swelled-- Inducements to Dolts for Purchasing Volts Through Offsets on Taxes Compelled.
For Earth-friendly driving on streets, the Volt is replacing the Beat as GM's top line of autos in line with that which Obama decreed. GM in the Year Twenty-Twelve proclaims what its lobbying swelled-- inducements to dolts for purchasing Volts through offsets on taxes compelled.

Perhaps you've detected these lines are written in rhythm and rhyme-- Click here, cursor-down, and more will be found as limericks in stanzas and lines:

                For Earth-friendly driving on streets, the Volt is replacing the Beat as GM's top line of autos in line with that which Obama decreed.  GM in the Year Twenty-Twelve proclaims what its lobbying swelled-- inducements to dolts for purchasing Volts through offsets on taxes compelled.  Perhaps you've detected these lines are written in rhythm and rhyme-- If so, cursor-down, 'cause more will be found as limericks in stanzas and lines:

GM in the Year Twenty-Twelve 
proclaims what its lobbying swelled-- 
inducements to dolts 
for purchasing Volts 
through offsets on taxes compelled: 

We're hoping our lobbying verve 
yields changes for bending the curve 
from market commands 
(supply and demand), 
so Government Planning is served.

Such offsets are really much mo' 
than offsets against taxes owed -- 
Instead, they are credits 
from government debits 
disbursed as entitlements owed.

And also, it's wise to remember 
our previous plans to dismember 
supply and demand 
as much as we can, 
so Earth won't get hotter than embers. 

Such things we've accomplished you ought 
consider as food for your thoughts-- 
e.g., we designed 
the  'GTxi' 
shown  here by the Iowa Hawk:  

Above video created by Iowa Hawk

 

But that isn't all-- there are more 
examples that brought to the fore 
renewable sources 
for energy sources 
for which we bought patents from Gore.

 

GM Gore-Mobile from PoliticalXray a.k.a. PoliSat.Com on Vimeo.

 

But now, in our marketing Volts 
for purchase by regular folks 
we've learned we can't sell 
our Volts very well 
to others than liberal dolts.

Since carrots alone cannot fix 
this problem, we'll have to use sticks 
to punish consumers 
not later but sooner 
when regular autos they pick. 

Inspired by Al Gore's carbon offsets, 
we'll fix it with marketing offsets:  
"Buy Volts," we implore,  
"but if you buy Fords, 
from us you must buy GM Offsets
TM."

For us (Gov'ment Motors) the goal's
the same as Obama foretold
for coal in '08 
(on video saved):  
Destroying the market for coal.

And thus, for consumers so bold
as not to support Barack's goal
by purchasing Fords,
our "Offsets" will force
on Ford the same fate to greet coal. 

But yet there's a fly in the ointment 
of claiming the Volt will fight warming  
since batteries, we know, 
in Volts may explode 
and burn-- thereby adding to warming.

And therefore, Al Gore is imploring 
our plants to convert for restoring 
the Gore-Mobile line 
which he had designed 
for Methane-Propulsion exploring.

So, now that we've got your attention,
we yield to Al Gore to dimension
his insights attained
and proudly explain
what led to his Greatest Invention: 

I've long been proposing with zeal
improvement of automobiles
that warming be ended
and so I've invented
a car named the Al Gore Mobile.

I always stay right up to date 
on ev'rything science can make
So I knew of course a new fuel source:  
We now can refine human waste.

This auto will please the whole nation, 
'cause no one will need service stations
And if you ask me  
just how this can be, 
I'll give you a quick explanation: 

The obsolete gasoline tank 
will yield to a nice septic tank
And old drivers' seats 
become toilet seats 
so drivers can fill their own tanks. 

For health, this will lead to improvement
'cause drivers will learn to fine-tune it
by eating more grain
to not have to "strain"
to get 50 miles to the movement
.

--Jim Wrenn, Editor and Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliticalXray.Com.

Permanent Links to this installment:
http://PoliSat.Com/GM-Update-2012.htm.
http://polisat.com/DailyPoliticalSatire-Commentary/Archives2012/du20y12m02d19-01.htm .

Jim Wrenn
Political Satire/Commentary at PoliSat.Com (Editor)

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Biography - Jim Wrenn

Jim is a proud descendant of 18th Century criminal exiles from England who swam to the Outer Banks when the British ship taking them to a Georgia penal colony sank in a storm near Cape Hatteras. Having the prescience to prevent their descendants from becoming "TarHeels," they immediately migrated to Virginia, where, within just a few generations they worked their way up into poverty. Jim's grandfather was the first in the family tree to see the distant horizons, but his career was cut short by severe injuries he sustained when a cousin cut down the tree.

After a brief stint in the Amry (ours) following graduation from law school, he began his legal career in the state bureaucracy but was never able to break into the federal bureaucracy. Several years later, he entered the private practice of law and co-founded a small law publishing company. Later, finding the publishing of small laws unstimulating and finding his private practice too private to be lucrative, he began writing political satire/commentary. His greatest vice is taking himself too seriously.

He wrote the definitive books on the Clinton Era Error: the Clinton Liebrary Book (pre-October, 2000), which he later updated as the Clinton Liebrary Book 2001 Edition to include Election 2000, the post-election shennanigans, and related events through August, 2001. The 2001 edition is the only known literary source that conclusively shows why Bill Clinton pardoned Susan McDougal but not Webster Hubbel. It also presciently contains the Billary/Hillary Dueling Memoirs. At every opportunity he shamelessly promotes his books for orders on-line or by fax at www.ClintonLiebraryBook.Com. He's also the Librarian at the Clinton Liebrary (www.ClintonLiebrary.Com), which owns exclusive rights to Bill Clinton's most famous speech as well as Bill Clinton's comments after revelation of the identity of Deep Throat in 2005.

As an amateur scientist as well as a scientific amateur, he de-bunks the man-is-causing-Global "Warming" theory, and predicts that by the middle of the 21st Century (when he will be safely dead) physicists will discover the obvious flaws in Einstein's Theory of Relativity, which will lead to vastly-faster-than-light travel through polarization of gravity. As a constitutional-law scholar, he's trying to teach those who hold a static, zero-sum-game view of economic and social theories to understand that "property" is not a "thing" but rather is a human right.

Although he regularly teaches Continuing Legal Education courses to lawyers, he's too-often available through he Rubber Chicken Speakers Bureau to speak on politics, satire, etc., at luncheons, dinners, root canals, funerals, etc. His speaking fees are so outrageously high they border on criminal price-gouging, but as a free-market advocate, he defends his fees on the higher moral ground of charging whatever the traffic will bear. For more information (surely more than one would want or need), go to www.PoliSat.Com.


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Copyright 2012 by Jim Wrenn
All Rights Reserved.

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